It's over, isn't it?
by TsukinoYue
Summary: Sasuke struggles with his family and responsibilities to come out of the closet. He thinks Naruto will always be there for when he's ready, but then life happens. Sasuke lost everything but the child Naruto left behind. Oneshot. Warning: Character Death, yaoi.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. © Masashi Kishimoto. Song by Steven Universe – It's over. ©Rebecca Sugar**

 **Warning: Character Death. Sorrow.**

Neji watched as his coworker stood up from his chair in the middle of the afternoon, walking to their boss to inform him the project he was assigned to was finally over. Kakashi, their manager, looked pleased with the news congratulating the man for his job. Neji sighed and shook his head, he would never understand how his competent coworker refused to ascend in the company.

Everyone in the office knew Sasuke was a capable man, intelligent and strong-willed, who could have been in the president seat now if he so wished. Instead the man preferred to stay the same way he was when he began working in that office.

"Excellent, Sasuke." Kakashi looked at the hour and his trained eyes didn't lose the small anxiety of his subordinate. "We will talk about it tomorrow when you arrive, alright?" he said and smiled.

Sasuke nodded his head and went back to his table, getting his belongings meticulously fast, a worried look on his face as he checked his watch. "See you tomorrow." He said to no one specifically and quickly parted.

Neji rubbed his eyes and shook his head. He could never understand why Sasuke did that. It was such a waste.

…

The train stopped at the platform in its usual time, a group of high schoolers laughing and chatting animatedly about some band. Sasuke sighed as he sat down, scrolling down his cellphone to read a few words of news, the weather and his agenda.

It took him about an hour to arrive at the station he needed to be. Looking at the watch on his wrist, he jogged on the busy streets until he reached a calmer street. Sasuke saw women and men talking and waiting, some who he knew and have had a word or two before, but he has always been a quiet and discreet man.

"Daddy!" A flash of wild blond hair ran towards him, big blue eyes shining to see her father.

Sasuke got the kid on his arms, smiling at her. He kissed her hair. "Hey princess. How was your day?"

The girl bounced in excitement. "It was soooo cool, daddy! I have to tell you all!" she smiled brightly, jumping on the floor when her father placed her back. "But first I have a question."

Sasuke thanked her teacher and waved goodbye politely, holding his daughter's hand as she talked. "What is it?" he asked and they walked home.

"Daddy, I know it's not Friday but can I pretty please watch TV?" her blue eyes blinked and she pouted in hope.

"I always let you watch TV after we finish your homework, Natsume." Only Friday he let her watch cartoons to her heart content.

"I know, I know, daddy! But, but, I _neeed_ to watch it today!" She jumped more and more, her hair a mess of curls and golden locks.

"If you finish homework, then you can." Sasuke repeated, he couldn't understand his child's urge to watch TV. He wasn't a strict father, not like his father was, but he also had some rules. "Why don't we do homework together and then we watch cartoons together?" he provided as a solution.

"YES!" Natsume yelled out. "Thank you daddy! You're the best dad in the _world_!" she spun around herself, opening her arms to empathize the words. "How was your day daddy?"

"It was normal, Natsu. How was yours? You didn't tell daddy." Sasuke knew the kid could talk on and on for hours, usually telling him every single detail of her day and her friend's day. It almost pained Sasuke to look at her, they were so similar.

"It was soo cool! I got into a huge fight daddy!" Sasuke's eyes widened and he looked at the girl with an arched eyebrow intending on reprimand her. "You know Mizuki, the new boy? So, today we were writing about our families and that everyone has a different family and that we have to be nice to each other! And then Mizuki's time, eh, yeah, he said he has two mothers and two girls and a boy, I don't remember their names…" she frowned her brows to think thoroughly but gave up quickly. "Anyway, they got mad at Mizuki because their parents think it's wrong to have two mothers and then Mizuki started crying, poor him."

Sasuke hummed as she continued her tale. "And this is the part where you got into a fight?" he asked angrily but Natsume was so into her own world he barely noticed.

"YES! And it was super awesome! I stood up and then pow, pow, pssh, pshh, and then I told them they had to be nice to Mizuki!" she mimicked a few jumps and kicks in the air. "And everyone clapped because I was super cool, daddy! I saved the day!" She patted herself on the back for that, proud to stand up for her beliefs.

Sasuke wasn't sure how he felt about it. In a way, he was proud his daughter stood up for her friends and for the things she believed, but if it meant she hurt her classmates then she was in the wrong. "Now, Natsume, did you hurt them?"

The girl looked at her father in disbelief. "What?! Of course not! I just showed them my moves! I was super cool and then I told them to be nice because _I_ have two daddies and I'm super awesome!" she said arrogantly.

The girl's father sighed, he should have seen this one coming. Oh God, they were so alike. He could never forget whose's child Natsume was, not that her features did anything to hide it.

"You know Mizuki's mothers are different from me and your father, right?" Sasuke always spoke honestly about diversity with her, he deemed it important.

Natsume's smile faltered a little as she looked at her father's sad expression. "I know." She told him. "But, but…" her loud voice, her big gestures, her presence, everything was like her father. "I still have two daddies!" she yelled out. "And two daddies who love each other like Mizuki's mothers so there is no difference!" she was almost angry at Sasuke for saying it was different.

The oldest smiled sadly at her. "You have a mother as well, Natsume. Your father's love for me was different than your friend's mothers' love for one another. They love each other like your father loved your mother." He tried to explain but the girl huffed and crossed her arms, just like Naruto did, nothing would change her mind when it was set on something.

…

"Say your greetings to your parents" Sasuke instructed as they entered their home, taking off their shoes at the entrance.

Natsume was back to jumping happily to one place to another, "Mama! Papa! We're home!" she sat in front of the small altar and placed her hands together in pray, a picture of her mother and her father smiling at her. "Today my day was very nice, but daddy was annoying…" she proceeded to tell them everything again in one breath.

Meanwhile Sasuke began to prepare dinner for the two of them. November was coming and so was the anniversary of Natsume's parents. He couldn't think of it, not now, he felt his eyes burning and thought it ironic he was cutting onions. The blabbering of his daughter was comforting to him, even though it hurt so much.

Natsume was going to me eight years old next summer, the same age he had when he met Naruto. He remembered how he thought the new kid was annoying and too loud and had no manners.

Sasuke remembered how painfully stupid Naruto was, how he could _never_ give up on anyone, except he could. Stirring the pan, Sasuke felt his memories haunting him. Used to it, he welcomed them.

…

 **Past**

"Sasuke! Come here! We need to talk!" Naruto ran after him in the school corridor, but Sasuke simply ignored the other boy. There was nothing for them to talk about. Nothing. Nothing had happened! Nothing!

"Sasuke! You can't deny what happened! We…"

"THERE'S NO 'WE' NARUTO!" He yelled angry, startling the blond boy. "There's no 'we' and there will never be. It was NOTHING! NOTHING!" fear consumed him as he saw people staring at them. "Don't make it worse for me" He begged his closest friend. "Please" he whispered.

Naruto felt his heart clenching in his chest. Sasuke was hurting and so was he. "Sasuke…" he whispered, then he closed his fists, a new resolution strong in him. "I'm not giving up, bastard! I'll never give up on you! So when you're ready, I'll be waiting" the sad yet gentle smile that adorned Naruto's face still haunted Sasuke for many years after that.

Back then, it had been their very first kiss.

…

"Ah, I knew you'd come to your senses, bastard" Naruto sighed contently, turning on his back on the small bed. "Took you long enough" He said with a smile, hands caressing the pale skin of his bed companion's back

"Shut up, idiot." Sasuke laid on his stomach, a nice flush on his face after their late night activities. Both of them were sophomores in college already. "Just let me sleep."

Naruto smiled and turned to his side, wrapping his hands around Sasuke protectively, "I can get used to it." He whispered, kissing Sasuke on the temple, breathing in his post-sex scent, hugging him. "I love you, Sasuke."

"Go to sleep, Naruto."

Naruto chuckled. "I'll make you say it back. I'm not giving up."

Sasuke closed his eyes that night but didn't get to sleep. He had fallen into the arms of one Uzumaki Naruto and he wondered how he would escape. He thought about his father, about his brother, about his mother, about his future. It would all be over if he continued it, if he chose Naruto, he would give up on his life.

Was it worth it?

For the young Uchiha, it was not.

…

It was a typical family dinner, where Sasuke was bored out of his mind. He only wished it to be over. His father was talking about politics and his ideals always hurt to listen. He couldn't stand it anymore.

"… I raised our children to be men, these poor excuses of parents just had to be strict. It is not natural to like the same sex, it's lack of education…" the man continued on and on, each phrase praising his sons for not becoming homosexuals, for being true men, for their virtues.

A punch on the table caused silence and shock. "I can't stand it anymore."

"Sasu…"

"I can't…" A painful sob escaped his lips. "I can't do it anymore." Sasuke spoke between sobs and contained anguish. "I gave up everything! EVERYTHING!" He looked up to see the shocked expressions of his parents and his brother.

"Sasuke, what happened?"

He had enough.

He gave up on his dreams, on his friends, on his happiness. He gave up on Naruto! He gave up on HIMSELF!

"I just can't" He cried and cried and cried, like a child. It was just too much. He gave up everything for this family, for their approval, and now what did he have?

Nothing.

He had nothing.

"I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!" He screamed and then looked at his father in the eye. "I'm just like those you speak so poorly of, Father."

The last thing he saw was the front door and how he walked out of it without uttering a word. Then it was all a haze of how he got to his apartment and how he couldn't speak with his family.

When the fog lift, Sasuke wanted it all back, his dreams, his friends, his happiness. He wanted Naruto and he would not give up. Naruto would still be waiting for him, wouldn't he?

…

When Sasuke met Hinata, he thought nothing of her, a cute face, curvy body and a weak presence. She was a shy girl and that was it. He saw the way she looked at Naruto, the way her purple eyes lingered longer on him. He saw it all.

He saw how Naruto looked at him, how he slowly but surely was coming back to him. And that was all that mattered. Hinata didn't matter. Naruto did.

"I'm with Hinata now, Sasuke."

It took him way too long to really understand the meaning of that. It broke his heart too slowly to understand what Naruto was really telling him. "I love you, Naruto." He confessed too late. Naruto have given up on him. "And I'll always love you, from afar." His body ached and the tears hidden behind his eyelids broke his voice a tiny bit. "I'll be happy as long as you are happy." He begged it to be true.

Naruto grinned and hugged him, letting him breath in the contact one last time. "Thank you so much, Sasuke. It means a lot to me."

…

"We want you to be her godfather." Hinata announced gently, caressing her stomach. "Will you accept it, Sasuke?"

"I'll be happy to." The man said, a dull pain in his chest that would never go away. "When is the due date?"

"Beginning of summer" Naruto answered his best friend. "It's getting close, and we still don't know a name for her."

Sasuke thought it over in his head. "What about _Natsume_?"

Naruto grinned and caressed his wife's belly. "Natsume… Natsume! Did you hear that, Natsume?"

Hinata smiled when the girl fluttered in her stomach. "Seems like she likes it. My little Natsume."

Sasuke promised he would care for Natsume no matter what. He was her godfather after all.

…

 **Present**

"Daddy?" Natsume asked tilting her head.

"What?"

"Did you cut too many onions?" She asked, perceiving the redness of her father's eyes.

Sasuke blinked the tears away "Yes, too many onions, princess. I'm done with dinner, are you hungry?"

"Not yet, daddy. I have homework to do!" She was only excited because her father was going to help her and that was always fun.

Sasuke smiled at her, now that was different from her father, she did enjoy studying and learning. Natsume was always curious, asking questions and demanding answers about everything. "Then let's do your homework."

Natsume was smart, very smart, but she lost focus quickly, so Sasuke had a few tricks to get his child's attention and it usually meant to make a fool of himself while teaching her. He couldn't deny it was fun to see her laughing and raising her arms to answer each and every question.

"We're done!" they both clapped their hands at their achievement. "Now I'm hungry daddy. Can we eat on the sofa?" She grinned at him mischievously "Pretty please?"

There was no way he could say no to that and he did say she could watch cartoons after she finished her homework.

They ended up eating on the couch, with blankets covering them both, while watching cartoons. Sasuke never had this when he was a child, he wasn't allowed to be a kid and he wasn't allowed to be himself. The cartoons weren't so bad, he even had fun with some adult jokes here and there.

"Daddy! Daddy! It's my favorite show!"

Sasuke watched as Natsume jumped off the sofa to sing the intro of Steven Universe, dancing her own choreography. She really loved the show.

The older had watched all of the episodes with her and found himself enjoying how clever the show was, treating very adult themes in a light and fun way. He wondered if he would have turned out different if he had seen something like this on TV. Would he have grown up more confident in himself? More accepting? He couldn't say.

It didn't matter anymore.

He cringed at the episode, 'Mr. Greg', and one of the musical numbers hit him hard.

' _I was fine with the men_

 _Who would come into her life now and again_

 _I was fine 'cause I knew_

 _That they didn't really matter until you_

 _I was fine when you came_

 _And we fought like it was all some silly game_

 _Over her, who she'd choose_

 _After all those years I never thought I'd lose_

 _It's over, isn't it? Isn't it?_

 _Isn't it over?_

 _It's over, isn't it? Isn't it?_

 _Isn't it over?_

 _You won and she chose you_

 _And she loved you and she's gone_

 _It's over, isn't it?_

 _Why can't I move on?_

 _War and glory, reinvention_

 _Fusion, freedom, her attention_

 _Out in daylight my potential_

 _Bold, precise, experimental_

 _Who am I now in this world without her?_

 _Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her_

 _What does it matter? It's already done_

 _Now I've got to be there for her son_

 _It's over, isn't it? Isn't it?_

 _Isn't it over?_

 _It's over isn't it? Isn't it?_

 _Isn't it over?_

 _You won and she chose you_

 _And she loved you and she's gone_

 _It's over, isn't it?_

 _Why can't I move on?_

 _It's over, isn't it?_

 _Why can't I move on?_

Tears flowed down his eyes. He wasn't sobbing, he barely made a sound, but the tears simply wouldn't stop. Was it some kind of life's irony? It should be a child's show. It shouldn't be serious. It shouldn't portray something so real to him.

'It's over, isn't it? Why can't I move on?' repeated on his head.

By the end of the episode, Sasuke had stopped crying already. As far as he knew Natsume didn't realize or she would have said something. He hugged her and kissed her hair, she was everything left of Naruto. She was his child. Sasuke wished Naruto was there with them, the three of them should be a family, no one else. It was impossible in every way.

"Daddy?"

"Yes?" he watched as she placed both hands on his face and looked him very seriously.

"I know papa loves you, because you are my daddy. And I love you."

A knot in his throat made it almost impossible for him to answer. He hugged his child, tightly, if only he hugged Naruto as tightly, if only he had told him earlier. "I love you too, princess."

It was too late.

It's over, isn't it? Sasuke thought as he placed Natsume back on the sofa.

He would take care of her and he would accept and love her for who she was. It was all he could do.

"Good night Natsu."

"Night daddy."

Sasuke went to his bedroom, a picture of him and Naruto on his nightstand, always hunting him.

It's over, isn't it?

Why can't I move on?

It's over.

 **AN: The end.**


End file.
